Send Funny SMS Messages Free

Mourning Sent By Herby Fergie walking in Windsor park this morning, passer by says.. Morning Sarah! Fergie says...... No just walking the dog!	Why r Men Sent By Kelly Wall why are men so good at making salads? . . . . coz they are born tossers!	1 Bollock Sent By Mi-rse what do you call a chinese man with 1 bollock? . . . Wot-went-wong
Two Legs Sent By Paul Whats got two legs and bleeds? . . Half a dog!	Delicious Maritius Sent By Kat There was a young girl from Maritius, who said that that fuck was delicious, but next time you cum, will you cum up my bum cos that scab on your cock looks suspicious!	Stiff one For The Oldies Sent By Banksy Newsflash Old peoples homes have started giving men over 70 Viagra. It's nothing to do with their sex lives but it does stop them from rolling out of bed!
Budweiser Sent By Glasgow Gal i want to take ur top off wif my teeth put my hands all over ure body, put my tongue round ure hole and suk out ure juice.... BUDWEISER how do u drink ure's?	Kissing Sent By Jenna a man can kiss his wife goodbye.a flower can kiss a butterfly, wine can kiss a frosted glass. but you my friend can kiss my ass!	No Friends Sent By Julie NOKIA REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU HAVE NO NEW MESSAGES. WE TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOU HAVING NO FRIENDS, IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE UGLY CUNT ACT 1975
Magic Tractor Sent By A Rennie A magic tractor was driving down a hill and turned into a field.	Royals Sent By Tommy what has the queen mother and princess diana got in common? . . . they were both hitting 102 when they died.	Another Blonde One Sent By Sean (l) Kayleigh Q: How do you recognize a blonde at the airport? . . . . A: She's the one throwing bread at the planes!
Siamese Twins Sent By Shannon SMS: "giv it ere" "NO ITS MINE" "let me av it" "NO ITS MY TURN" "u had it last" "FUCK OFF" "cumon gimie it" "NO WAY!" -siamese twins avin a wank	3 Days Sent By Lizzy what the difference between the queen mum and duddly moore? . . about 3 days	Hooker From Crew Sent By Birdy There was a young hooker from crew Who lined her vagina with glue She said with a grin if they pay 2 get in they can pay 2 get out again 2!
Mirror Mirror.. Sent By Emma Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all, the mirror smiled & gave a grunt & said not u, u ugly cunt!	Sex on T Days Sent By Lynzi I only have sex on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving, Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday, Thunday....Every Thucking day!!	Vibrator Sent By Woman MESSAGE FROM YOUR OPERATOR: your vibrator is interfering with our signal.Please cum now or continue by hand.Any problems please phone us, many wanks.
Roses R Red... Sent By Bobo Roses r red, Violets r blue, Ain't had sex in ages... So i'm gonna screw u.	Crack The Code Sent By Mark 370HSSV 0773H Can u crack the code? No? OK. Turn phone upside down!	1 Message Received Sent By Mark 1 message received 1 cute person sent it 1 ugly person reading it 1 ugly person angry 1 cute person is smiling 1 ugly person stil readin it Ha! Ha! Ha!
Man's Duteration Sent By Sexy Chick it's a mans duteration 2 shove his boneration up a bitches seperation 2 increase the population of this fastley growin nation if u wanna demonstration plz lie down	Read It Backwards Sent By Martin Piss the takin is someone that realise u that point this @ is it.(now read it backwards)	Twinkle Twinkle Sent By Linzi twinkle twinkle little knob ow she loves it in her gob when she feels that certain twitch! she pulls it out the spiteful bitch
Vodka Sent By Kirsty Rolo if the sea was vodka n i was a duk id swim 2 the botom n drink my way up,but the sea aint vodka n i aint a duk so giv me a ring if u fancy a fuk	Arsehole Sent By Jess i asked god for a flower-he gave me a garden-i asked god god for a tree-he gave me a forest-i asked god for an arsehole-he gave me ur number!	Horse Sent By Jordan Butters A horse walks in2 a bar + orders a drink. The barman turns to him and says "Fuck Off, your a horse!".
What is Life? Sent By Zaheer Whats life ? Life is love. Whats love ? Love is kissing. Whats kissing ? Come here and I'll show you.	Tastes Like... Sent By Pleaters I went down on my girlfriend last night & she asked "Honey, why are you licking my arsehole?" I said "Cause your pussy tastes like SHIT!"	Sex & Fags Sent By Robert Slappa Sex is like fags, u make them hot, suck them and when it runs out of the good stuf u put it out. After a while it gets addictive
Priceless Sent By Mark Smith flowers 4 girlfriend £50 dinner out £34 shopping £65 . . . . . picture of girlfriends face as u stick ur dick up er bum !!priceless!!	Dick & Poo Sent By Christopher Connelly whats the difference between a dick and a poo . . . . u ever tried sucking a poo?	Ice Cream Man Sent By Dr. Nick Ice cream man found ded covered in hundreds & thousands, rasberry sauce in mouth & a flake up his arse. police think he topped himself.
Body Parts Sent By Wisppo 23 useles parts on mans body, 20 nails u cant hammer, 2 balls u cant throw & one cock that cant crow - Dont laff girls coz ur pussy cant catch mice	Paddy & Murphy Sent By Kyle & Matt paddy+murphy playin pool in a pub 4 5 hours+havent even potted a ball,so paddy says 2 murphy lets cheat+take the triangle off.	Lips R 4... Sent By Del Lips r 4 snoggin, Beds r 4 rockin, Clits r 4 Caressin, Clothes r 4 undressin, Ears r 4 lickin, Tits r 4 suckin, The clock is tickin, So lets get fuckin!
Fine... Sent By Romil ive bin watchin u very carefully 4rm top2bottom, rite2left & i hav cum 2 1 coclusion, u must b a parking ticket cus u have the word FINE written all over u!!	Intelligence Gene Sent By Clumsden Apparently it has been discoverd that the intilligence gene is found in women. Unfortunatly 98% of them spit it bac out!	Georgie Porgie Sent By Emma Clarke Georgie Pordgie pudding & pie shot his load in his girlfriends eye when her eyes were tightly shut Georgie Pordgie fucked the slut!
Suspects Sent By Marydoll Police r lookin 4 a suspect who is smart, witty, sexy and very gorgeous-they've already eliminated u from the search! Where do u think i should hide?	Luck Sent By Marydoll The sky is blue, The grass is Green, the harder th fuck th louder th scream, th louder th scream, the better th fuck so give me a call and u might b in luck!	Kermit Sent By Gabrielle kermit da frog got a kick in da knob 4 messin around wit miss piggy. he laughed haha & ripped off her bra & out flopped his little green mickey!!
Your Momma Sent By Michael Dunstan ya momma is like a bowling ball she gets picked up fingered chucked down the ally and she still comes back for more	Speed Gun Sent By Jeff Wellington What's the difference between a Cop with a speed gun and going down on a woman? . When you go down on a woman you can always see the cunt behind the bush!	Mad Cow Disease Sent By Petri Wessels "Why did they call it PMS?. . . . Mad cow disease was already taken!
Toilet Sent By Rik Come here, take your kit off and get on top of me. . . enjoy me until u r totally satisfied . Lovingly yours. . . . . TOILET.	Old Peoples Home Sent By Emma How do you have fun in an old peoples home? . . . Wax the floors and pull the fire alarm.	Parking Spaces Sent By Joe Scully Y r women like car parking spaces? . . . Cos the good ones r taken, and the rest r all disabled!
Angel Sent By Paul U r an angel sent from above, sent by god 4 me to love. So when ur lonely, sad and blue remember i am there 4 you!	Backwards Sent By Rik HA HA U 2 IT SEND THAT BASTARD THE CURSE AND MOBILE UR AT VIGOROUSLY SWEARING OF PROCESS THE IN PARTAKE PROBEBERLY WILL U BACKWARDS THIS READ 2 BOTHER U AFTER	Hint Sent By Kimmy Mars is a chocolate, polos a mint, I need a shag, hint hint hint hint !!!
Paddy's TXT Sent By Albion Paddy sent a tex to his pal Murphy over in Ireland. "If u don't have much credit nod or shake ure head"	14 Tons Of Crackling Sent By Andrew Tromans Marys pigs had foot and mouth, this problem she cried needs tackling, now all ive got is one burnt field and 14 tons of crackling!	Bitch & Whore Sent By Sally What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
Impotent Loser Sent By Sally What's the definition of an Impotent Loser? A guy who can't even get his hopes up.	Lice Sent By Dean Fay She demanded I gave her affection, So I opened her legs 4 inspection, I found her quite nice "till I noticed her lice" and immediatly lost my erection.	Bear & Rabbit Sent By Kyle Godsman A BEAR AND RABBIT ARE TAKING A SHIT IN THE WOODS WHEN THE BEAR TURNS TO THE RABBIT AND SAYS DO YOU HAVE ANY TROUBLE WITH SHIT STICKING TO YOUR FUR THE RABBIT TURNS AND SAYS NO! SO THE BEAR WIPES HIS ASS WITH THE RABBIT.
Animals & Tights Sent By Holder How many animals can u fit into a pair of tights? 10 little piggys, 2 calves, 1 ass, 1 pussy, 1 beaver, countless hares and a dead fish noone can find!	A Man's Occupation Sent By Beth a mans occupation is 2 stick his coqulation up a womans ventalation 2 increase the population of the younger generation if u want a demonstration please lie down	Long & Thin? Sent By Kelly Brown Whats long and thin,covered in skin and god knows how many holes its been in? A worm!!!
Good Friendship Sent By Yushairol Nizam i want u 2 know dat our frenship means alot 2 me. U cry I cry. U laff I laff. U jump out of d window... I look dwn & den ........ I laff again! :)	Bend Over Luv Sent By Sy Doveton Roses r red, violets r twisted, bend over luv, ur about 2 get fisted.	Lady From Heeley Sent By Mat Oliver There was an old lady from Heeley, who had a funny feeling, she lay on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.
Thinkin' Bout U Sent By Claire, Coventry I've been thinking about u + me..if we were alone how it would be..I would kiss u all over till ur feeling hot..then give u a sensation when I hit the spot!	Never Floppy Sent By Jane-Louise Roses r red Ur knickers r blue Im never floppy wen im with u.	Always Wet Sent By Jane-Louise Roses r red Ur knickers r blue im always wet wen im with u
Do Me A Favour Sent By Lezly do the world a favour, pull your lip over your head and SWALLOW!	Smile Sent By Lezly smile- its the 2nd best thing you can do with your lips	Trash Sent By Lezly roses are red violets r blue trash got dumped and so r u !
Stupid Sent By Lezly everyones entitled to be stupid, but your abusing the privilege!	Love Me Tender Sent By Lezly Love me tender Love me sweet Wrap your lips around my meat I see your smile I see your grin I see my cum run down your chin	Vegetarian Sent By Lezly If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food
Secret Admirer Sent By Gametec im ur secret admirer u touch me in all the right places u always no how to turn me on ur lookin at me rite now smilin,who am i? im ur phone u fool	Results Sent By Lezley We are pleased to tell you your results ....... ............................... .............................. your IQ test came back Its Negative!!	Love ? Sent By Lezly IF u erase this msg it means u LUV me,if u keep it u WANT me,if u simply ignore it,u really ADORE me!so,what r u going to do?
Condom Recycling Sent By Lezly How do you re-use a condom? Turn it inside out..... AND SHAKE THE FUCK OUT OF IT!!	Ugly Thing Sent By Lezly What's that ugly thing on your neck? OOOH Its your face!	Not Ur Fault Sent By Lezly Its not your fault Its the chemist Cause he gave your father a torn condom
Bitch Sent By Lezly I go from 0 to BITCH in .5 seconds	Smart Men? Sent By Lezly When are men the smartest? Before, during or after sex? During sex cause they're plugged into a know it all.	Play War Sent By Lezly Want 2 play war? I'll lay down and you can Blow the fuck out of me!
Rough Draft Sent By Lezly yes,god made you first, but there's always a rough draft before the final copy!	Sex On Txt Sent By Lezly Press down..down..more..ok..more.. yes..ahh..ohh..yes..almost there..yeah.. oh shit..harder..so good!mmm....... That's how we SEX on TEXT!!	Westlife Sent By Lezly how can you tell westlife are Irish? they tried flying without wings!!
Born Beautiful Sent By Lezly Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful, but what the hell happend to you?	Mafia Sent By Lezly Licking pussy is like playing with the mafia... One wrong move and you are in DEEP SHIT!!!!	Sex Fest Sent By Lezly There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !
Secret Pacman Game Sent By Scotty Nokia 5110, 402 and 3210 are all programmed with the game 'pacman' to activate simply press MENU followed by 4217. Enjoy!	Cat Sent By Rikki this cat,is cat,a cat,good cat,way cat,to cat,keep cat,an cat,idiot cat,busy cat,for cat,30 cat,secondzcat!now read it all without the word cat.	4 Animals & A Woman Sent By Lezly There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And of course a donkey to pay her bills!!
Ur 4 me Sent By Nicola S. like the moon & twinklin stars ur perfect jus da way u r so close ur eyes & wait 4 me & u will c ur da man 4 me!	Newsflash Sent By Adrian W. Newsflash A new study from America has just revealed that if ur shit in bed and sexually unxperienced u'll b holding ur phone in ur right hand!	I Can't Eat Sent By Chris Erasmus I can't eat b-fast cause i'm thinking of u, i can't eat lunch cause i'm thinking of u, i can't eat supper cause i'm thinking of u, i can't sleep cause i'm fucking hungry!
Thinking Of You Sent By Clarice Starling Somwhere, some1 dreams of your smile & finds your presence in life so worthwhile. So when your lonely, remember its true that some1, somewhere, is thinking of you!!!	Ur Mum's Nice Sent By K. Sluggett roses are red vilots r blue ur mums nice wat appened 2 u!!!	Fluffy Clouds Sent By Daniel Young The fluffy clouds may kiss the sky, The rose may kiss the butterfly, The morning dew may kiss the grass, But u my friend can kiss my ass!